Fear of failure must STOP

Fear of failure must STOP

Almost like how a prisoner would view the stretches of land outside his prison cell with wistful longing, it is how many of us feel on a daily basis. The worst of it is that most of us like to deny that it is happening. It’s painful to uproot the entrenched anchor of habit which leads us to coast easily without deviation in our lives. But this equally leads us down the sorry road of stagnation – a hated truth but nonetheless real. I say this because for once and for all, I want with all my being for fear of failure to STOP. It is so engrained within us we don’t know we chose certain roads over others because of it, unless we really stop and analyse.

For clarification I will propose an example. You may want to start on a project early, way before the deadline, and the sound of reason whole heartedly agrees. It will logically give you more time to create something of high quality. But there is a nagging sentiment which reminds you of how difficult it had been the previous time and that it hadn't quite turned out the way you planned. These ruminations once planted, only grow with time, mounting the fear insurmountably. This is where many people fall into the easier route of procrastination, which is really a false victim of blame in all this. Truly it had nothing to do with why you suddenly lost the steel nerve and abandoned your good intention.

And this is just the beginning. With something as mundane as a daily task maybe it won’t be as convincing to say that you had the genuine desire to follow through with it in the first place. But there are also aspects of our lives that we enjoy but we put aside for the same formidable reason. This fear of failure, has made many postpone their hobbies; drawing, dancing, playing an instrument, blogging etc. For me this has definitely been the case. And although, weakness is difficult to admit to, I do so partly, because I am convinced that it will help me start afresh with a life that I do wish to lead and partly, because I hope this will be taken as a wakeup call for all those that realise they battle the same issues.

This year I have made every effort to rid myself of this thankless disposition. Now that I have hopefully convinced you of the need I will give you examples to reinforce this invaluable notion. But first I must say it was not easy. Pouring over countless resources from Tedtalks to speeches from successful leaders of their fields, I managed to compile some principles that have helped me and may help you.

Arnold Schwarzenegger (a leader in body building, acting and also Governor of California) from his own account, he was told he could not act, his accent was laughable and that he was just a big lump of muscle. And yet preceding those very words, he managed to attain his goals and he got what he strived for. He could have easily sided with the “naysayers” and given up; fear of failure would have subjugated him. His rules to success are: trust yourself, break some rules, and don’t be afraid to fail, ignore the naysayers, work like hell and give something back. And although I agree with all those rules and believe  that each deserves a separate article  dedicated to them, not being afraid to fail, may be the most important.

Furthermore, his back-story resonated with me, immeasurably. I too had words thrown carelessly at me in years when I was just developing a sense of self, yearning for approval and striving to be what was expected of me. But to my chagrin, although not always in the forefront of my mind, you can’t please everyone, and pleasing everyone does not mean you stay true to yourself. Now I have decided with an unbending resolve that come  rain or shine , my principles will remain my own. And that includes of course, not being afraid of failure.

I could list endlessly the pioneers of fields that purport the same ideal; Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, JK Rowling etc. There are also those for whom this was a relatively new realisation; young psychologists discussing their theories on TedTalks gave tips how to overcome the comfort-zone barrier. Furthermore, along with motivational speeches, seeing the progression from nothing to immense success has also given me hope. Model figurers, most great actors, singers, authors started off with very modest, if not markedly, impoverished lives. It just proves there is nothing that is impossible, if we find the conviction within ourselves.

JK Rowling (Author of Harry Potter) wrote an incredibly powerful speech, which I urge you to see. She says “failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was”. This not only underscores the need to stop the fear of failure, it goes a step further to say failure carries invaluable benefit.

A business, article I stumbled upon echoes this familiar sentiment. Robert Shapiro “failure-tolerant leaders, don’t just accept failure; they encourage it”- seeing beyond a myopic definition of failure, the outcome becomes a complement to success rather than the polar opposite. Such a mindset lays grounds for sought innovation.

Finally, I will enlighten you with my own experience. Why with the sudden passion for this particular notion? For many years, I have felt a great longing to realise my goals, one of which had been blogging. I see other perspective writers, those who I admire, cultivating a life they desire with a freedom of mind I wish I possessed. Fear is a plague, it paralyses until inevitably the opportunity or goal you sought is lost, at times due to our minds trying to justify any reason to opt-out. Moreover, with the today’s passing of one of my most cherished role models, Alan Rickman, a man who had moved me in more ways than I have the heart to say, I felt the urgency to finally make a stand stronger than ever before. Life is much too short to squander it not making mistakes and thereby moving forward.

So to end this article but hopefully, may it be a promising beginning for more to come- I would like to reinforce that fear and doubts  kill more dreams than failure ever will… true failure is– not to try at all… No longer should anyone stand in their life like a prisoner behind bars, peering over at the life they wished they had the courage to lead.